Should anyone ask, everything is a mountain.

What do you when you’re at work sitting in front of a computer trying and failing to concentrate on the code in front of you?

When even the most straightforward requirements seem like an impenetrable nests of complications and edge cases to your tired mind?

I find myself just staring into my computer, for hours. No movement, just staring.

11 weeks to go until the Christmas break.

At the same time I’m working on something that could potentially be really exciting and have a huge impact. But just want to walk away and curl up in a ball. And just want to go away next week. But I have no idea where to. Or who with. Or if I can justify it. Or even deal with the planning mountain.

Tomorrow I’m supposed to be excited and giving a talk in Hamburg. I want to stay in bed. 


  • Morning running. I need to get this back on track. Signed up for the Berlin half marathon in April.
  • Consulting. Feel better about finances. No point in worrying about this if I can fix it.
  • Ask for help. I have lovely friends. I have a hard time asking for help.
  • Connect with friends. Past depressions have been my mind overheating: stuck in a loop looking for an answer that isn’t there for the finding. 
  • Rock climbing. I want to start this again. I like it because of the intensity. I can’t think of anything else when I’m on the wall. And it’s nice to just think about one thing at a time. 

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